Hello Everyone!
I am thankful to God who gave me such a good memory. This helps me arrange those memories in the form of clouds that always stay in my subconscious mind. As and when I want I can see those on my mind's projector.
Since all my siblings were very good in studies they choose all their lines of study; left Patna starting from 2002 to pursue their studies. Firstly, it started with my eldest sister Shalini who went to the US at our Uncle's Place. After that other two sisters to Davangere and then Brother. My mother, I used to see off them and used to wait for their midterm holidays. I started losing all my interest in studies. Gradually, the results into the exit of rank in School Examination from Top 5 and Top 10 respectively. I remembered an instance where I dialed Sheetal Didi's Hostel number in the evening hours and asked if she was available to talk? When we received a call- back I lied stating I did not call. There must be some confusion or wrong connection from somebody else. This was because we used to pay a lot on Landlines for STD calls. Hence, mummy used to call and check if everything is going well or not. I got a scolding from mummy for that. I did not reveal anything to her but I wanted to speak with her. I never used to say, anybody to anyone but always had this thought when they will come I will play, read, eat with them.
How could I not mention the efforts of my eldest sister Shalini Di who used to get up for me to prepare delicious Roti and Cripsy Potato Sabji? She is still the best person who takes care of me even now. She made me eat Chapatis soaked with Milk every day for dinner. I used to sleep with her. Listen to stories from her and whatnot. She was the first person to whom I used to approach for anything. Somehow, I did not have much connection with my Mother because I was deprived of her love from my infant days. It was because of our father's demise after my birth. She helped me when it was required much for me. I could never ever forget that thing forever.
I can proudly say because of everybody's effort I was able to score well (75%) in the Board Examination of Mathematics Paper. I remember, I attempted 96 number questions and I got 85 which was a big achievement for a student like me. I was not a good student as compared to my siblings. They were rank holders and scored always 90 plus. All Teachers of Rose Public School used to compare me with Shaily Di and Himanshu Bhaiya. Whenever Sheetal Di and Shaily Di used to visit home for midterm holidays. I used to study with her and within a stipulated time I used to finish all my concepts of Mathematics, Chemistry, and Physics. My God! Those were the days, I hardly use to grasp anything. The most important things for me were -- Enjoying the memorable time with them, be it be cooking, eating, playing and get scoldings from them. Both of them used to scold me a lot for my studies and low marks in the Mid Term Examination. :(
I remember the day I used to hear they are coming - I used to prepare my list imaging what things should I expect from them. They used to get something for me always like -Jeans, Top, Bangles, Macroni (to prepare pasta). Mummy and I used to make a list of what all should we cook. The Mess food made them bulky and plumpy, anemic. I used to shower all my love to help them in the best possible way. I was really impressed with Sketching's work by Shaily Di. She had a woman sketch done which was so inspiring. It created an interest in me as well. I started to sketch cartoon characters like Mickey Mouse, and many others. I used to do so well. I have still kept those with me as a remembrance.
Whenever they used to leave from Patna for Bangalore via Sangmithra Express, I used to lament a lot in the washroom. I somehow used to become a silent student in the class. For me, it used to be a one-week love affair with my sisters.:P. The toughest period when I again took Mathematics in my 11th and 12th along with Arts subjects. I was clueless about what should have done. Did I commit a mistake by taking Maths, again? I remember Sheetal Di got placed in TCS and had pre-joining Training from TCS. She used to write letters to me and correct my English because by practice any mediocre student can become good. I used to write in Hinglish since my English was not good. Somehow, I did not get any connection with English Grammar. I always had this issue while speaking and writing. I always use to say this sentence to Sheetal Di -- "Apne salary se Rs 500 mere liye hata ke rakh diya Kijiji har month". How stupid I used to be during those.
Trust me, the time was so difficult for me. I used to scratch my head. I had to learn the concepts of Advance Mathematics from Bhaiya. I turned out to be a bad student who did not know anything about Differentiation and Integration. His patience level dipped by teaching me. Out of Frustration, he used to shout if you do not study, you will not secure even passing marks. I wrote my examination and was waited for my IA results with fear in mind. If I would pass or not. Bhaiya went and checked the result of mine. I got passing marks in Paper 1 of the Maths but failed in Part 2 by two marks.
My entire percentage came down to 52%. I almost touched the distinction number in my Arts Paper but did not do well in Maths. Whereas all my friends scored between 70 to 75%. One Good thing happened because of Maths Paper, I was able to get through Bachelor In Computer Application from the same college, i.e, Patna Women's College, Patna. During these days, I successfully managed to complete my studies but could not do the Internship properly. Here my eldest di helped me with the readymade project. I was successfully able to complete and secure good marks in Viva.
So these are a few instances, where it completely reflected I was never a good student in terms of studies and what was the reason behind it. I was the person who used to blossom with my sisters and brother around. The same thing, I can still feel in my early 30's. Now, also my sisters and brother are there to support me in every phase of life and that's why they always provide necessary suggestions.
Of course! Mother faced all hardship, however, I do feel I am just like a Robot for her. Just carry out those things which she wants, no personal opinion, no freedom of thoughts, and etc.
However, I feel like because of all these things somewhere I cannot come up with my own thought process and how to deal with the worse situations. However, at a few personal and professional front I am trying to prove myself.
Let's see how do I cope up with these things.
I am thankful to God who gave me such a good memory. This helps me arrange those memories in the form of clouds that always stay in my subconscious mind. As and when I want I can see those on my mind's projector.
Since all my siblings were very good in studies they choose all their lines of study; left Patna starting from 2002 to pursue their studies. Firstly, it started with my eldest sister Shalini who went to the US at our Uncle's Place. After that other two sisters to Davangere and then Brother. My mother, I used to see off them and used to wait for their midterm holidays. I started losing all my interest in studies. Gradually, the results into the exit of rank in School Examination from Top 5 and Top 10 respectively. I remembered an instance where I dialed Sheetal Didi's Hostel number in the evening hours and asked if she was available to talk? When we received a call- back I lied stating I did not call. There must be some confusion or wrong connection from somebody else. This was because we used to pay a lot on Landlines for STD calls. Hence, mummy used to call and check if everything is going well or not. I got a scolding from mummy for that. I did not reveal anything to her but I wanted to speak with her. I never used to say, anybody to anyone but always had this thought when they will come I will play, read, eat with them.
How could I not mention the efforts of my eldest sister Shalini Di who used to get up for me to prepare delicious Roti and Cripsy Potato Sabji? She is still the best person who takes care of me even now. She made me eat Chapatis soaked with Milk every day for dinner. I used to sleep with her. Listen to stories from her and whatnot. She was the first person to whom I used to approach for anything. Somehow, I did not have much connection with my Mother because I was deprived of her love from my infant days. It was because of our father's demise after my birth. She helped me when it was required much for me. I could never ever forget that thing forever.
I can proudly say because of everybody's effort I was able to score well (75%) in the Board Examination of Mathematics Paper. I remember, I attempted 96 number questions and I got 85 which was a big achievement for a student like me. I was not a good student as compared to my siblings. They were rank holders and scored always 90 plus. All Teachers of Rose Public School used to compare me with Shaily Di and Himanshu Bhaiya. Whenever Sheetal Di and Shaily Di used to visit home for midterm holidays. I used to study with her and within a stipulated time I used to finish all my concepts of Mathematics, Chemistry, and Physics. My God! Those were the days, I hardly use to grasp anything. The most important things for me were -- Enjoying the memorable time with them, be it be cooking, eating, playing and get scoldings from them. Both of them used to scold me a lot for my studies and low marks in the Mid Term Examination. :(
I remember the day I used to hear they are coming - I used to prepare my list imaging what things should I expect from them. They used to get something for me always like -Jeans, Top, Bangles, Macroni (to prepare pasta). Mummy and I used to make a list of what all should we cook. The Mess food made them bulky and plumpy, anemic. I used to shower all my love to help them in the best possible way. I was really impressed with Sketching's work by Shaily Di. She had a woman sketch done which was so inspiring. It created an interest in me as well. I started to sketch cartoon characters like Mickey Mouse, and many others. I used to do so well. I have still kept those with me as a remembrance.
Whenever they used to leave from Patna for Bangalore via Sangmithra Express, I used to lament a lot in the washroom. I somehow used to become a silent student in the class. For me, it used to be a one-week love affair with my sisters.:P. The toughest period when I again took Mathematics in my 11th and 12th along with Arts subjects. I was clueless about what should have done. Did I commit a mistake by taking Maths, again? I remember Sheetal Di got placed in TCS and had pre-joining Training from TCS. She used to write letters to me and correct my English because by practice any mediocre student can become good. I used to write in Hinglish since my English was not good. Somehow, I did not get any connection with English Grammar. I always had this issue while speaking and writing. I always use to say this sentence to Sheetal Di -- "Apne salary se Rs 500 mere liye hata ke rakh diya Kijiji har month". How stupid I used to be during those.
Trust me, the time was so difficult for me. I used to scratch my head. I had to learn the concepts of Advance Mathematics from Bhaiya. I turned out to be a bad student who did not know anything about Differentiation and Integration. His patience level dipped by teaching me. Out of Frustration, he used to shout if you do not study, you will not secure even passing marks. I wrote my examination and was waited for my IA results with fear in mind. If I would pass or not. Bhaiya went and checked the result of mine. I got passing marks in Paper 1 of the Maths but failed in Part 2 by two marks.
My entire percentage came down to 52%. I almost touched the distinction number in my Arts Paper but did not do well in Maths. Whereas all my friends scored between 70 to 75%. One Good thing happened because of Maths Paper, I was able to get through Bachelor In Computer Application from the same college, i.e, Patna Women's College, Patna. During these days, I successfully managed to complete my studies but could not do the Internship properly. Here my eldest di helped me with the readymade project. I was successfully able to complete and secure good marks in Viva.
So these are a few instances, where it completely reflected I was never a good student in terms of studies and what was the reason behind it. I was the person who used to blossom with my sisters and brother around. The same thing, I can still feel in my early 30's. Now, also my sisters and brother are there to support me in every phase of life and that's why they always provide necessary suggestions.
Of course! Mother faced all hardship, however, I do feel I am just like a Robot for her. Just carry out those things which she wants, no personal opinion, no freedom of thoughts, and etc.
However, I feel like because of all these things somewhere I cannot come up with my own thought process and how to deal with the worse situations. However, at a few personal and professional front I am trying to prove myself.
Let's see how do I cope up with these things.
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